As with all the best trips this one started in the pub one Friday night after several pints of falling down juice. I blame Keith ‘two hats’ Tidswell but he of course says it’s my fault for being the only person daft enough to agree to the trip. Keith has being trying this idea out on his son for years, but he obviously has more sense and just says ‘Dad your drunk stop talking rubbish’.

How it all started was my better half got herself a Honda C90 to run about on and Keith on seeing it asked ‘Do you fancy going from the furthest point west to the furthest point east in the UK mainland’? my reply was of course ‘Keith your drunk stop talking rubbish’

The ‘sensible’ solution was of course to ride up to St Bees in Cumbria and then across the country to Robins Hood bay, not so daft now eh! That Sunday Keith rang ’David I’ve bid on a Honda C90 on eBay, if I win? Can you and Deauville Dave pick it up for me? So off we went to Manchester and after the most basic of checks (we were made to feel obliged to pay up no matter what!!) Keith had his (T)rusty C90, the trip was on.

Over the next few weeks frantic preparations were made, well I changed the oil fitted a new front tyre and remembered at the last minute to book an MOT. Similar preparations were happening at Keith’s but he was also getting in practice by riding the thing before the trip. Yes I had agreed to doing a coast to coast trip on a C90 without riding one more than 10 ft ever!!! One night Keith called round so we could do a test run. It was worse than I could ever have imagined, truly awful, what have I let myself in for. All those tales of riding at 50mph all day long were clearly spoken by deranged people wearing rose tinted binoculars.

The day finally dawned no turning back now, bikes were fuelled up and camping gear loaded we were really going through with this. With no camp site booked for the first night it was just a matter of see how far we get, after 60 miles we stopped for a brew at Devil’s bridge then headed off for Cumbria the bike’s roaring along? A few miles after refuelling my bike started to run a bit rough and slow (relative term) and lose power (see above) we stopped and had a poke about no obvious faults found so off we went at 20mph in search of a camp site. Something in the back of my mind came up with ’switch the lights on’ and within minutes ‘full power’ was resumed! The lights stayed on for the rest of the trip. That first night we made it to Seathwaite a distance of 100miles and very pleased with ourselves we were to so much so we went to the local hostelry to celebrate our achievement.

Next morning we pack up and head off to St Bees for the start of the Coast to Coast part. At our second fuel stop we were approached by seemingly half the customers who wanted to know where we were going and the ever present I have/had one of those, great bikes. More of the same at St Bees with one joker saying ’you’d best hurry up lads those two have just set off walking to Robin hood Bay if your not careful they will beat you!’ On reflection he may have known something, because as we set off Keith came to a halt within 5 yards!!! ’David I think I’ve got a flat front tyre.’ Being two well prepared lads we soon had that sorted and for the second time set off. Our camp for the second night was only a short ride away and after picking up some rations and a chat with a couple of Germans on rather larger bikes I can confirm that our Deutchlander friends do indeed have a sense of humour, well they thought our trip was funny anyway. Our ’Backup vehicle’ was due to meet up with us that night and indeed after he’d ridden past the campsite several times decided to join us. The site had a worrying notice ’People with the intention of getting intoxicated and of a load manner may want to look elsewhere’ We just hoped they would let Deauville Dave in. The Yamaha (Boulevard Cruiser) XS250 seemed to be carrying enough luggage for the three of us. Within minutes the campsite looked like a plane crash site with Dave’s gear strewn everywhere. He then demonstrated his new fast pitching tent to us, well at least he can’t put this one up inside out! (Don’t ask)

We were now confident of the C90’s ability’s and so the route across the country was settled. So after a visit to the ’Ratty Railway’, it was ever onwards and upwards and over the Hardknott and Wrynose passes!. For those not familiar with these they are the closet things to alpine passes without trekking all the way south. The start of the climb soon had the little engines revving their hearts out but with 1^st gear selected there was truly nothing they couldn’t cope with. It has to be said I was enjoying the light weight and being able to relax on the switch backs and enjoy the view. We even managed to overtake a pushbike on the way up!. Seeing a nice spot to pull in at the top we did just that, it quickly became apparent that our ’back up vehicle’ was missing. After several minutes waiting Keith decided to walk back and see what had happened to Deauville Dave. After a couple of minutes walking and no sign of him, Keith stopped a car to ask if a bloke on a overloaded bike had fallen over the edge or something, ’he’s back there’ came the reply ’just looks like he’s having a rest’? Seconds later Dave rode up the hill waving as he rode past Keith who now had to walk back up the hill and back to the bikes.

‘After I’d passed the guy on the pushbike he started to shout and wave at me, so I stopped’ says Dave. Turns out Dave had lost his tent pegs on route up and the cyclist had bust a gut catching up to let him know. What’s more an old boy had picked them up and was running up the hill to give them back to Dave.

What goes up must of course go down, and it didn’t take long to work out that with all the gear and such a steep incline the little C90’s couldn’t actually stop. So a keen eye was needed to keep an eye out for escape routes in meeting places. The run down to Ambleside saw Keith’s bike having it’s turn at running off beat. After some more poking around a couple of test runs and the plug gap closed slightly we were back in the game. We were booked in to a camp site near Layburn that night and managed to cover 61mls that day. This was despite Dave’s ’Back up Vehicle’. We decided the name fitted as we had to keep backing up to find him!. On a particular nice run where man and C90 were running in perfect harmony (well thy grow on you) we again noticed the ’back up vehicle’s’ absence, and after a couple of minutes waiting a farmer turned up in a pick up and asked if we were waiting for a guy on a over loaded black bike, ’he looks like he’s having a rest’ he said. So back we went this time to find him hoping around after being forced to stop due to cramp?. We regrouped and set off again only for him to come racing past us pointing to his helmet. He pulled in and pulled his helmet off shouting ’there’s an insect in my ear’. Life’s never boring when you travel with Deauville Dave.

There were some bemused looks on the site as we rolled up they turned to fascination when Dave’s camping gear started to come out ‘explosion in a camping store’ was one comment. There was only one shower on the campsite, and after half an hour waiting for it to become free, Keith’s comment to the lady coming out was ’you must be the cleanest woman in Yorkshire’, thankfully she saw the funny side. Tent’s were put up and food cooked and as the campsite was at the back of a pub, well it would be rude not to. A really good night followed good ale and good banter. People thought it strange doing the coast to coast on C90’s, comments ranged from ‘why?’ to ‘your not right in the head!’

Today was the day we would get to the East coast and complete the Coast to Coast part of the trip. Deauville Dave did the reverse of his unpacking stuff was everywhere but somehow he gathered and packed everything on to his bike and we set off a short run down to Masham and onto Thirsk and Pickering for lunch. Followed by Sutton bank which was tough going but again nothing the C90’s couldn’t cope with. Our route took us over the moors and the mist and rain made it a tough run. With quite a few miles to go I noticed the petrol gauge on the C90 had dropped to empty. We had been stopping every 50-60mls or so for fuel but this run was a bit longer and with no petrol before Whitby it would be touch and go. The fuel gauge continued to drop but the little engine just kept going, with the needle way below empty it was with some relief we pulled into a petrol station in Whitby. Now we were ready for the final run into Robin Hoods bay and the feeling of elation was matched by the sight of a group of teenagers bowing in the ’we’re not worthy’ fashion at us was quite funny. We made it (as if there was any doubt!) After a wander round a cuppa and some photo’s, it was back over the moors and see how far we could get before finding a camp. After another wet and misty run we filled the tanks up again and head for Thirsk. We then decided there was enough day light to make it home tonight. After some rather nice fish and chips we set off for the final push and made it back to Bradford later that night. It had been a long day covering some 170mls but a great way to end the trip. In total we covered 400mls and the bikes averaged 114mpg, and it has to be said managed anything we could throw at them, I sure they would do the furthest West to furthest East no problem just not with me on it though!.